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Leave Won, We're Fucked.

All of the news in one place.

Published On June. 24, 2016, at 22:15 p.m.

Written By:
Dimwit Central Staff

We were hoping we could do a really fun article today upon finding out that the Stronger In campaign had won about how seriously we were taking the vote with hashtags such as  #dogsatpollingstations which was started by Innocent at the last big election, take a look.

#usepens was also trending on the day of the referendum vote. Some people thought that their vote would be rubbed out if they used a pencil so decided to use a pen which can become void if smudged. There are also concerns over disappearing ink being used if pens were used for voting. Lots of people didn't take it seriously but sadly there will always be stupid people. We've deliberately not said anything about the referendum. 

Sadly however we can't make that article because the leave vote won. Subsequently the value of the pound dropped to the lowest it's been since 1985 falling more than 10% when the pound was only recently 4% higher buying $1.50 at its peak. The value of Bitcoin has increased. Barclays and RBS fell about 30% but are now at around 20%. The bank of England said they're "monitoring developments closely" and will take "all necessary steps" to support stability. the UK interest rate "is likely to hit zero".

We've had idiots who voted leave either regret it or not realise that their vote actually counted for some reason. Google trends also suggests that people don't even know why we went with Brexit.

It's also troubling that some people don't even know what the EU is.

It's kinda worrying when Lindsay Lohan knows more about the referendum than the general public. It was also amazing when cunt Nigel Farage admitted he was lying about the money he said the NHS would have. Some people have said that another referendum should be held because he was lying and should therefore be prosecuted. 

The Technology and Science industries will also be affected by potential new laws and less funding for research with lots of it currently coming from the European Union. Leaving the EU is also 'likely to be devastating' for UK film and TV industry (including Game Of Thrones). Canada is about to see even more people wanting to go and live there especially with Trump potentially becoming president. 

Speaking of Trump he didn't fact check again and tweeted this:

Despite the fact that every single one of the 32 voting areas in Scotland voted to stay in the EU. Sue Perkins had the perfect response. Of course Hillary Clinton was also on hand to apologise for Trump 

Everyone was annoyed at the old people, including Gary Lineker in this tweet:

A lot of the online polls saying remain was at a majority were forgetting one thing, old people don't use the internet so they're probably not taking part in a twitter poll anytime soon. The over 60 demographic voted to leave because they've got nothing to lose, they'll all be dead soon but in the meantime they have their cheap houses and pensions to enjoy.  Almost ⅔ of voters over 60 voted for us to leave the EU and voters under the age of 49 tended to back Remain according to advance polling. ¾ of people aged 18-24 were set to back Remain. Take a look at our handy table below showing how the people who will be around longer want to remain in the EU.

There's now a petition calling for a second referendum which you can sign here if you like. At the time of writing it already has over the 100 thousand signatures needed to be debated in parliament (now over 200 thousand), however it's still worth signing. The website has crashed a few times but the government has said they're 'aware of the issue' and are fixing it.

We will probably get new passports and driver's licences but as paperwork is out of date.  

Italy, France, Holland and Denmark have all called for their own referendums and EU leaders want the UK to leave as soon as possible. Anonymous have launched their own new political party and pledged to bring down the global political system.

As we're still writing this we're seeing people be unable to exchange currency because they don't have an exchange rate from the central bank. This has been resolved for cash machines however Matt's hotel can't exchange cash.

Everyone in the office and those of us writing this are sufficiently angry about the whole thing. This evening twitter is seeing popularity with #notmyvote and #KeepCorybn. Corybn has been blamed by the Labour party for a few things. People are also using #SuggestAJobForCameron with obviously funny results. We wanted to touch on lots of subjects in this article. Please share this using the buttons below or at the top of the page to help everyone make sense of this diabolical mess. We were going to include some of our favourite Brexit jokes but we're fed up so they'll probably come later on tonight or tomorrow. There's still hope though, a referendum isn't legally binding and parliament can stop us from leaving, also the process for us to leave hasn't begun yet either. 

 

Although Dimwit Central has tried its best to make sure all of this article is 100% up to date some information may have been updated since this article was published so a few inaccuracies are possible. If you do happen to spot any inaccuracies please contact us so that we can fix this (link also at the bottom of this page) 

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Written By:
Dimwit Central Staff

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